When Rachael Lang got married, she envisioned starting a family with her husband without delay. Those plans were suddenly interrupted nine months after their wedding day in 2018, when she received a breast cancer diagnosis at just 26 years old. To preserve their hopes of having children, Lang underwent medical treatment, froze her eggs, and later turned to a close friend who offered to carry a child for them as a surrogate.
In 2023, Lang and her husband, Alex, finally welcomed their biological daughter, Delaney. Although Lang became a mother in every practical and emotional sense the moment Delaney arrived, the legal system treated the situation far differently. Because of complex and outdated state regulations governing parentage, it took two full years of administrative hurdles and emotional strain before the couple could officially adopt their own daughter.
The administrative complications began immediately after Delaney was born. It took two weeks for Lang and her husband to secure legal guardianship of their newborn. In the interim, the state issued and mailed Delaney’s birth certificate directly to the surrogate, officially identifying the surrogate and the surrogate's husband as the child's legal parents.
That initial lack of legal recognition created significant practical obstacles for the new parents. Lang explained that they were barred from making medical decisions for their daughter right after birth and could not enroll Delaney in their healthcare insurance policy until legal guardianship was formally granted. Instead of spending those precious first moments bonding with their newborn, the couple found themselves coordinating with attorneys on the day Delaney was delivered.
The ongoing procedural roadblocks took a heavy emotional toll throughout the two-year adoption process. Lang, now 34, recalled sitting in her workplace parking lot in tears after receiving a phone call from her legal counsel informing her of yet another delay. For the family, the prolonged legal journey was marked by profound frustration as they sought finality and official recognition of their family unit.
The Lang family's experience highlights the broader difficulties many intended parents face across the country. As increasing numbers of hopeful parents turn to assisted reproductive technologies, such as surrogacy and in vitro fertilization, they frequently encounter state-level parentage laws that have failed to keep pace with modern medical practices and family-building methods.
Advocates argue that these inconsistent statutes create unnecessary barriers for families. Patience Crozier, the director of family advocacy at GLBTQ Legal Advocates & Defenders, emphasizes that numerous children across communities are born through fertility healthcare, including donor conception, IVF, and surrogacy. Crozier stresses that parentage policies nationwide must be modernized so that all children remain legally secured and protected with their parents, regardless of how their families were formed.
A primary model for statutory reform is the Uniform Parentage Act, which underwent a major update in 2017 to provide clear legal standards for modern families. The framework outlines protections for children born through surrogacy, children raised in LGBTQ+ households, adoptees, and those conceived through assisted reproduction. However, the adoption of these updated standards remains uneven, as many states have not yet enacted the 2017 version or similar protective measures.
The absence of modernized parentage laws can lead to severe practical consequences for parents and children alike. As Crozier notes, American legal and civic institutions place tremendous weight on the established parent-child relationship. Without recognized legal parentage, parents can face immense difficulties obtaining health insurance for their children, qualifying for parental leave benefits, enrolling their children in educational institutions, or exercising authority over essential medical decisions.
The vulnerabilities within existing surrogacy frameworks have also been underscored by high-profile legal conflicts, such as a contentious case in Texas involving a surrogate named West. In that dispute, the intended parents have maintained custody of the baby boy since birth, while West has pursued legal action to secure parental rights to make medical choices for the child.
Legal experts point out that while disputes like the Texas proceeding represent tragic situations that draw heavy political attention, they remain distinct outliers in the surrogacy landscape. Crozier notes that the vast majority of surrogacy journeys throughout the country proceed smoothly and result in collaborative, successful agreements between all participating parties.
Nonetheless, instances of conflict demonstrate the urgent necessity of clear legal guidelines. Mariam Shahab, fractional chief marketing officer for The Surrogacy Foundation and a mother who had her son through surrogacy, observed that high-profile disputes highlight weaknesses in the current system. Shahab advocates for stronger, clearer parentage regulations to ensure the process of building a family through surrogacy is safer and more secure for everyone involved.
Advocates also emphasize that precision in language plays a critical role in both the legal arena and the emotional experiences of intended parents and surrogates. Terminology within contracts and state statutes helps define responsibilities and protects the rights of each party throughout the process.
State lawmakers from across the political spectrum have gradually begun to recognize these issues and pursue updates to their statutory codes. According to Crozier, legislators are increasingly motivated to act as they see firsthand how children and parents suffer when state parentage laws fail to provide adequate legal safeguards.
For parents like Lang, achieving statutory reform represents a crucial step toward protecting future families from enduring the same bureaucratic obstacles. By establishing comprehensive parentage protections, advocates hope that intended parents will no longer face years of litigation to simply be recognized as their children's legal guardians.
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